bubonicwoodchuck: (mannschaft)
[personal profile] bubonicwoodchuck
My mother? Has just given me implicit permission to study abroad.

This is enormous. This is--something I've never even thought was possible, something I've wanted to do for years and years and years but have never really seriously considered because of how unbelievably dead set my parents have been on four-years-undergrad-med-school-residency-fellowship-life-in-medicine, with absolutely no room for deviations.

I only wish she hadn't waited until my junior year to tell me this.

Theoretically, I could do it. It's possible. Hopkins has just started an exchange program with the Technische Universit√§t M√ľnchen. I'm not a confident speaker by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel as if I've reached the point in my German where I would be comfortable reading and writing it on a regular basis, and anyway isn't the point of study abroad to improve your grasp of the language? Professor Tobias, my German advisor, is dead set on my going. I am dead set on my going. It's in Munich. I've dreamed of going to Munich. There are no words for how much I want to go to Munich.

The problem is that getting there requires taking the MCAT a full six months earlier than I'd originally intended to (to keep my summer free for the six-week Praktikum required by our study abroad office), requires my cramming all five of my remaining required classes for my Biology major into two semesters (I am sort of reluctant to take a Biology course in German, and even if I weren't, I don't know that I would receive credit for it), requires a certainty in what I want to do after I graduate (fall of senior year is medical school applications: I'd probably have to take a gap year if I wanted to study abroad).

Simply put? I'm terrified. I want this so much it's almost painful. But I'm not sure if I have the ability to organize the next three years of my life into tiny, precise boxes and make it all happen.
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